Entry 31

Buddhist philosophy on why it's ok to complain

When I was a young girl growing up in Michigan (no, this is not about puberty), I felt this innate connection to the world. I knew that everything I had ever known, every experience I had ever had was spread out and understood among mankind, like light shining in many directions and illuminating different people. Everyone in the world understood at least one part of everyone else in the world, though the one thing they understood would rarely be common. This beautiful understanding of people came, I think, because I didn’t really have to be around them.

You see, back then I was an only child that lived on an acre of land off a dirt road. Now that I’m an adult living in New York city (See? I skipped right over puberty), I find that the list of things that piss me off grows longer and longer every day. It is the source of many of my blogs and will continue to be so until blogs are no longer fashionable. So here goes. It’s simply a list of “pet peeves” (this term also happens to be something that pisses me off) in no particular order.

1. People who talk through their yawns. Just wait until you’re finished yawning. I promise the suspense won’t kill me.

2. People who say they don’t care what other people think. If that were true, then you wouldn’t be saying that because you wouldn‘t care if I thought you cared what I thought. AH-HA! I’ve outsmarted you.

3. People who are constantly criticizing other people’s logic and common sense. “Why wouldn’t you just do it this way? Am I the ONLY person with any COMMON SENSE?” Yes. Yes you are. Now go to your room and think of important things to do. It’s up to you to use your common sense to change the world since you alone have been blessed with this gift. No? You’re just going to use it to be an asshole? Ok.

4. People who hate things they have never tried. This includes Christians against homosexual marriage. Have you ever been in a homosexual marriage? Then how do you know you don’t like it?

5. Racists. The only thing I hate more than racists are people who think that everyone is a racist.

6. People who aren’t white.

7. People with no sense of humor. If your response to this accusation is usually “I DO have a sense of humor, but I just don’t think that’s funny”, then you don’t. Because if you’ve been accused of this so many times that you have a formulated response, then chances are your sense of humor sucks. Life is funny. At least yours is, so learn to laugh at it.

8. People who aren’t confident. This category is so big that I just want to hire Dr. Phil to give all these people a hug. Symptoms of low self-confidence include: Gossiping, sarcasm, name-calling, making fun, ganging up, putting down, being overly assertive, being a doormat, and being a slut. And while, I’d love to make people feel better about themselves so they’ll stop trying to make other people feel badly about themselves, I don’t have time. So instead, I’m going to give you some advice; suck it up because you aren’t fooling anybody. That other person is cool and you are not. So be nice to them and maybe they’ll let you be their Nicole Richie.

9. People who don’t ask for what they want. Pointing out a problem is not the same as asking for what you want. “You’re in my way” is not equal to “Will you move please?”. Just as “You’re an asshole” is not equal to “Please stop being such an asshole”. If you don’t ask for what you want, you have no one to blame but yourself when you don’t get it. Will you all please comment on this blog and read all the other ones as well? Then will you please send me lots of money? There I said it.

10. People who are ashamed of what they like or pretend to know about things that they don‘t. You’re into the Spice Girls? Then don’t pretend to like punk rock. You like S&M? Don’t marry a Mormon. If you hate reading, then don’t quote authors just to sound smart. Just like what you like. Because it’s more annoying to the punk-loving, literate Mormons if you’re pretending to be like them when you clearly aren’t.

I think this is a large enough list for now. Please understand that complaining is not my aim for this ever-witty list of observations (although it’s totally ok to complain as long as it‘s funny). The beauty of sharing these annoyances is it will ultimately connect us all to each other. Because we have all experienced one or more of these things. And just as I thought as a child, everyone in the world understands at least one part of everyone else in the world. We are all connected, if by nothing else, then by our obstacles.

If you think I’m getting too sentimental, there’s no need to worry. I’m sure I’ll think of even more things that piss me off and write a sequel to connect us all even more. It feels so good to do something positive for mankind. You should try it after you read all my blogs and send me money.

previous - next

Buddhist philosophy on why it's ok to complain - Entry 31
Dishonesty gets results - Entry 32
Midwest to New York Purgatory - Entry 31
The men you shouldn't date - Entry 30
Fat kid Alumni - Entry 29